Rejected Lyrics from Dr. Seuss’s ‘You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch’ – A Guest Feature

Hello friends! I’m dropping in to share with you a little nugget of holiday delight, brought to you by Mr. P&P. An expert in all things Seussical, Paul would like to share with you what he considers the MOST ACCURATE rejected lyrics from “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.”

First verse:

You’re a godless heathen, Mr. Grinch
You’re a filthy, dirty Commie, Mr. Grinch
I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed, Mr. Grinch
You’re what’s wrong with America, Mr. Grinch
You’re one of those guys who talks about saving the environment but drives around in an SUV, Mr. Grinch
I can’t even – please don’t try to talk to me right now, Mr. Grinch
You never really loved me, Mr. Grinch
If I can’t have you than nobody can, Mr. Grinch
I have your son – maybe now you’ll know what it feels like to lose someone you love, Mr. Grinch.

Climax verse:

If your prospective employer called me for personal reference, I’d passive aggressively make you look bad!
If you called and said that you wanted me back, and you really made me believe that you meant it this time, I’d still turn you down just because I’d never be able to look at you and not resent you!
If it turned out that you needed a blood transfusion and I was the only person who had your blood type, I’d give you the blood but I’d make you feel really guilty about it!
If I could somehow get away with killing you and know for a fact that I’d never get punished, I don’t know that I’d do it but by god it would be tempting! I’d like to say I’d resist the urge, but I’d be tempted Mr. Grinch, boy I’d be tempted.

LOLZ, amirite? I think I’m right.

Hope you’re all wrapping up your years in restful, satisfying ways. Thanks so much for checking in with me. One of my New Years Resolutions (ah, those dreaded buggers) is to post more regularly even as I continue to freelance. You can always check the publications page of this blog, my Twitter, and the P&P Facebook page to stay updated on what sorts of noise I’m making elsewhere on the internet!

❤ P&P

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